On washing dishes and joyful transformations

April 9, 2021

Washing dishes used to be the chore I disliked the most, in fact it was at the top of my Inventory of Dismal (more about that later). Dishes never seem to be finished in our house and they stack up quickly. We do not currently have a dishwasher, it was what I gave up to have the life I wanted…off-grid and earth-bermed. It was my cost of living my dream life, the downside. Some days however the cost seemed too high. My solution, it was time to transform this “dismal” chore into something I could at the very least tolerate or ignore, and at best, enjoy. Well, several years later I can honestly say that dishes are no longer dismal and on some days, like this morning, I can actually admit that I enjoyed doing the dishes.

What is the secret to transforming dismal chores into those you can ocassionally enjoy? First you need to analyse what it is that you dislike about the activity. For me dishes “never” seem to be done, there is “always” a sky high pile of them and they “always” need to be done when I least want to do them, when I am tired after dinner. This I know about myself, after dinner I don’t want to do work. I work hard all day going from activity to activity and once I sit down for dinner exhaustion kicks in. I also know that the sooner dishes are washed after being dirtied the easier they are to wash. This means that I had to develop strategies to decrease what I don’t like about doing dishes. More than that though, the true transformation did not take place until I paired doing dishes with activities that I do enjoy. Let me explain.

To start with I talked with my husband about my intense dislike of washing dishes. Together we decided that he would attempt to do some dishes during the day as they were being dirtied so the pile in the evening was not so high. To be fair, the reason he hadn’t been doing dishes during the day was because years before I instructed him not to because he was trying to build our home and keep our home clean at the same time and was finding he had very little time to do the building because of all the cleaning.

Next we talked about making simple meals some evenings for dinner so that fewer dishes were dirtied. When our children were young my husband used to go away for work two days back to back each week. While he was away the kids and I would have simple meals so the dishes were kept to a minimum – cereal was a common one, as were “great grilled cheeses”. Simple meals, few dishes…my favourites. My husband likes more elaborate meals, but he agreed to make enough so we had leftovers and therefore fewer dishes on day 2 (I love leftovers and I love fewer dishes!).

We talked about doing dishes as we were making dinner so fewer dishes were left to do at the end of the meal. We have gotten really good at this one and it makes a huge difference. Because I worked outside the home he usually has dinner prep duty which means when I get home the first thing I do is start the dishes while he finishes the meal. This often leaves just the pots and the dinner plates to wash after we eat.

All of this was great, but the final transformation, la piece de resistance, was pairing this “dismal” activity with activities that I do enjoy, activities on my Inventory of Joy (getting there). I love dancing and listening to great music. I also like watching shows on a streaming service that other family members don’t want to watch….so now if I am doing dishes in the morning I exercise while listening to great dance music (another dismal to Joy-filled pairing). This one is rather weird because I do High Intensity Interval Training. This means that for 30 seconds I do exercise, and then for 45 seconds I wash dishes. Not everyone’s cup of tea I admit, but I did this for me. I use an app that times my intervals and notifies me of when to switch activites so I don’t have to think about it. I also often exercise while I clean the house – deciding to do my HIIT in a specific room so that in the “off” 45 seconds I can do a quick cleaning (wipe down horizontal surfaces with a rag). Soooo easy!

If I am doing dishes later in the day I will pair it with great music, dancing or watching a show on my streaming service. The reward? At the end of the dishes I sit down and enjoy the end of the show I am watching…with no self-imposed guilt! Sweet!

I can honestly say I now have no “dismal” activities and even “look forward” to doing one of these activities because of the guilt-free activities that bring me joy that I do with them! My house is cleaner, I am more fit, and most importantly I experience More Joy everyday! Woohoo!

Some background information:

An Inventory of Dismal is a list of every chore you don’t like to do and perhaps even often avoid.

An Inventory of Joy is a list of everything that brings you joy.

I will elaborate on both of these Inventories on my next couple of blog posts.

Your homework today is to identify your most dismal chore and go through the process I have described to make it an activity you no longer find dismal and ocassionally even experience some joy while doing. Report back in the comments below so we can all learn from the strategies you use to transform your dismal to joy!

Make today a great day!

Velvet

Living with More Joy every day.