One Prayer Sock

Dear mom,

Thank-you for visiting me in my dreams this morning, it meant a lot. As usual we were laughing, we were always laughing! I know you have only been gone for a week and a half, but I miss you. I thought I was ready to say goodbye, but it appears I was not. I used to call you to check in, and I know I can just talk to you now, but in the absence of your feedback I have decided it would be easier to write you letters.

Today I want to tell you about my one prayer sock.

Yes I am writing you a letter about one prayer sock.

Why?

Because I cannot find the other.

A few years ago as a sister ministering to other sisters in my Church I challenged my Church sisters to knit or crochet a simple cotton dishcloth for a sister who they did not know well, and to pray for and think of that sister while they were making their cloth. Those who participated in this challenge learned a lot, about themselves, about prayer, about knitting, about giving, and about receiving. We learned more about the love our Heavenly Father and our Saviour has for us. Our experiences, our shared experiences, brought us both pain and joy, in short it changed our perspective and it changed our lives – the lives of those who did the work, the lives of those who served. Our hearts became “knit together in unity.” I do not know if it changed the lives of those we gave them to, but I suspect not. They likely just thought it was a little weird to receive a homemade dishcloth from someone they did not know very well.

You were so kind when you were alive not to ask about my convoluted stories, but at this point you are likely thinking, “Wait a minute, that story was not about a prayer sock, what does a dishcloth have to do with a prayer sock?”

I’ll get there mom.

In 2020 I bought prayer socks for a small group of friends and I. Because of Covid-19 we could not be physically present for one another, but by wearing our socks on the same day we could spiritually be together: praying in the morning, and then on our feet with a prayer in our heart for one another all day. This worked very well for us as a small group, we felt as one, “knit together in unity”, just as the sisters who had knit a dishcloth did. So when I was asked to serve a larger group of women at my Church I asked all of our sisters to identify a pair of socks as their prayer socks. I also asked that whenever we have a call for prayer for sisters or families in need, that we wear our socks that day, say a prayer in the morning and then keep a prayer in our heart for our sisters and their families all day. That was in January 2021. Prayer, and our prayer socks are making a positive difference in our collective lives, in the lives of those doing the praying, and in the lives of those we are praying for.

My close friends and I were praying for you since you became palliative in November. We have been praying for others as well, and regularly. We have been wearing our socks so much that one close friend of mine has worn hers out!

I know, I know, “This is still not about one prayer sock Velvet!”

“You know that no story I ever tell is short mom. You also know however, that every story has a point and a lesson.”

Now I can Zoom in to the ‘one prayer sock’.

One of my prayer socks disappeared after you passed away a week and a half ago. Not that day, or the next day, but about a week later. I had two prayer socks while I was at Cathy’s. When I got home I put them in the laundry. Then I hung them on the clothesline. I am certain I had two prayer socks only because I hang my socks in pairs and did not take notice that I was hanging up only one sock…I do notice those things. When I took the laundry down there was only one prayer sock. One.

It was a windy day so as with other windy days I searched the area for the missing sock. I have done this for other laundry items over the years, it is fun, a real life ‘hide and seek’ or ‘I spy’ game…”What filled that gap in the clothes line?” “What colour is it?” “Which way is the wind blowing, where might it have flown to?” “Can you see the orange sock among the brown Spring grass?” Or perhaps it never made it to the laundry and the questions become, “Where was I when I last saw these two socks together?” “When did I notice I only had one sock?” “Where was I in between?”

Keep in mind that at our home when we look for missing items off the line we travel far because the wind is strong. I chased my clothes basket over 100 feet this afternoon because I left it unsupervised to pick up two items from the ground. It may have enjoyed its tumble, but it wasn’t gone for long.

No sock was found outside, or inside, or in the car, or my purse…yes I sometimes put socks in my purse mom. I am no longer committed to wearing socks all the time because removing them is part of my temperature regulation at this stage of my life. As a result socks and clothes end up in places I never would have put them when I was cold all the time.

Still one prayer sock.

Well mom, nothing in life is ever a co-incidence, I have learned that. Whether my prayer sock is missing for a few weeks or for life there is a lesson in it for me. How do I know? Because in my life there are lessons in everything that happens. Why? Because I am open to lessons.

So what is my lesson?

So here is where I sometimes feel as if I learn slowly. Even though my life is filled with lessons it did not dawn on me until this morning…a week after the sock went missing, that there might be a lesson in this experience for me. Why, because I was still looking for the sock; in my mind I had not yet let go of the sock.

Now, I am moving on.

“What do I do about the sock that is left?”

“What do I do about my prayer socks?”

…and then my brain began to percolate.

Does one prayer sock mean I need to get down on my knees more?

Does it mean I need to be on my feet less?

Does it mean “do”ing less and “be”ing more?

Does it mean I need more balance?

I have decided it means all of those things and whatever else I decide it means for my life. I have also decided that I don’t need a “pair” of matching socks to be my prayer socks. I chose the socks I did as my prayer socks because they stand for our uniqueness and importance in God’s eyes and in the eyes of our families and friends. Having a pair that doesn’t match makes me even more unique (yes language police, I did that on purpose). I have decided to embrace having a mismatched pair of prayer socks because that is okay too. I do not need to go out and buy another pair of socks, I have enough. That last sentence refers to the lesson I learned this morning BEFORE I learned the lesson my One Prayer Sock taught me…as a matter of fact that lesson led to this lesson…

…but I will save that lesson for another day!

So mom, I have two prayer socks again, and I have written you my first letter since you passed, a letter that means something to me, and hopefully to you.

I love you mom, and I miss you dearly! I spent my morning crying for joy that you were with me in my dreams, and this afternoon and evening crying because you are not with me now.

Oh, and mom, if you took my sock, you can bring it back now, I learned my lesson. Or alternatively you can deliver it to someone who needs the love and unity prayer socks bring.

Love you,

Velvet

Living life with More Joy and one less sock!