The Broken Butter Dish Club

Many years ago I bought a butter dish in a thrift store because it reminded me of the butter dish my oma had when I was growing up. It is round, which works well for butter sliced from a 1 lb butter block, the way we buy butter in Canada. But the inside base of this butter dish is made of glass, which easily slides off the aluminium outer base, crashes to the floor and breaks. Hence this butter dish has brought me joy and sorrow, and many adventures in thrift stores looking for a replacement base. The glass base thus became a regular item on my thrift store shopping list so I would have a replacement ready when the next one broke.

Why a Broken Butter Dish Club?

As a parent we do what we have to in order to help our children cope with the big and little crises in their lives. The Broken Butter Dish Club was born out of one of these moments of crisis. I had already broken the glass base of the butter dish at least twice and my oldest son had broken it once. My youngest son was helping us set the table and took the butter dish out of the cupboard. The butter dish was higher than he was so he tilted it as he took it off the shelf. The glass dish slid off the aluminium base and smashed on the concrete floor. Concrete is unforgiving so when you build a home with concrete floors you need to be prepared to lose fragile objects when they fall. If you are not prepared for loss, don’t choose concrete.

I was there when the dish broke and my son’s face told me all I needed to know about how he was feeling about it. This was a huge deal for my little guy! Besides feeling bad for breaking the dish, he was likely a little afraid he would get in trouble. He may not have remembered that his brother and I had previously broken the glass base of the butter dish and that I usually had a back up. I thank my Heavenly Father for the inspiration that came to me in that moment, for it was in that moment the Broken Butter Dish Club was born.

“Welcome to the Broken Butter Dish Club,” I said. Then I reminded him that he was not the first to break the glass butter dish, nor was he likely to be the last. His body relaxed. He still needed to work through what had happened, and he was still a little sad, but he was able to help me clean up the mess by vacuuming the glass that was left after I did a preliminary pick up. When we were finished I took out the next glass base, showed it to him, wiped it, and put it in the butter cupboard. Crisis averted.

We can’t always make ourselves or our children feel better when a true crisis occurs or when a challenging event happens, but the sooner we learn to treat objects like objects and focus on choosing actions that build loving relationships with family members and friends, the sooner we will be able to respond in loving ways “in the moment” to lessen the impact of those challenges. We are the example our children follow so learning to let go benefits both us and our children.

 There came a time that I could no longer find replacement bases for my glass butter dish so I have replaced it with a rectangular one. This butter dish is stainless steel and fits the ¼ lb butter blocks I have more commonly seen in the United States than here. It works and has never brought me sorrow, but then it doesn’t bring me joy either, interesting how that works. Our joy is as great as was our sorrow. It is “just a butter dish” and that is fine, because that is what it is supposed to be.

My glass butter dish now sits on a high shelf in a kitchen cupboard and brings me joy whenever I look up and see it. In the aluminium base sits my last glass dish and as I think of it sitting there I wonder who will be the one to break it? Will it be me because I am likely to be the one at the top of the cupboard taking out another little used kitchen tool, or when I ask my husband to get something off that high shelf, will he pick up the butter dish only to watch in horror as the glass dish slides off the base and crashes to the floor? When that day comes, if it is my husband who breaks it, I will welcome him into the Broken Butter Dish Club with open arms and our Club will be complete, we will finally all be members.

Velvet

Living with More Joy, even when the butter dish breaks

Do you have a similar story or a different strategy you have used to help your children get through challenges in their lives? If so please share it in the comments area.